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总算找到雅思写作A类大作文范文分析
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总算找到雅思写作A类大作文范文分析

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  今天小编为各位考生带来雅思写作A类大作文范文分析,仅供参考。希望能够对各位考生有所帮助,祝各位同学取得令人满意的成绩。和小编一起来看看吧!
  题目:
  Happiness is considered very important in life.Why is it difficult to define?What factors are important in achieving happiness?
  题干分析:
  本题是八大类话题的抽象话题类,如何将一个抽象的话题变得具体是比较难的。
  分类解释和分组是很好的方法,各位只有充分训练好细化思维才能从根本上解决这一问题。
  It is no doubt true that the majority of people would like to be happy in their lives.
  首句不要写太长的背景,要从第 一句话就开始描述这个话题,而不是“with the development of society and economy , there is a hotly-debated topic about whether or not … While the personal nature of happiness makes it difficult to describe, there do seem to be some common needs that we all share with regard to experiencing or achieving happiness. (先写对方然后写自己的观点,以及本句观点所使用的批判性思维来故意强调问题的客观性,以及作者对于该题目的认识将会特别理性。)
  Happiness is difficult to define(直接式中心句,直接回答考题答案) because it means something different to each individual person. (先写结果后写原因,能有效避免观点跳跃的问题) Nobody can fully understand or experience another person’s feelings, and we all have our own particular passions from which we take pleasure.(展开的解释句使用并列句型,从不同角度来描述“貌似同一个”话题是细化思维的体现) Some people, for example, derive a sense of satisfaction from earning money or achieving success, whereas for others, health and family are much more important. (进一步通过举例子来分别展开,通过细化思维的展开分类进行说明)At the same time, a range of other feelings, from excitement to peacefulness,(进一步细化)may be associated with the idea of happiness, and the same person may therefore feel happy in a variety of different ways. (增加and therefore//and thus 来增进句子和句子的逻辑递进关系,并且能有效的避免观点跳跃的问题)
  Although it seems almost impossible to give a precise definition of happiness, most people would agree that there are some basic preconditions to achieving it.(通过批判性思维来写出来的具有承上启下作用的套句是让步段为推荐的句型,可以广泛运用在2015年新的考题中,并且取得不错的分数)
  Firstly, it is hard for a person to be happy if he or she does not have a safe place to live and enough food to eat. Our basic survival needs must surely be met before we can lead a pleasant life.(细化思维的一部分) Secondly, the greatest joy in life is usually found in shared experiences with family and friends, and it is rare to find a person who is content to live in complete isolation. (这句话具有超8分的水平,首先是细化思维的进一步体现,是另外一种的细节展开;该句话是并列句,能够充分观点展开,并且并列句能有效避免观点跳跃,从另外的角度来展开分论点;该句话是抽象名词作的主语来代替具体名词以及实意名词,是语言水平高的体现,因为大部分的6分以内作文基本上都是用人称开篇,所以用抽象名词来取代人称开篇的句型是高分作文的特征之一)Other key factors could be individual freedom and a sense of purpose in life(更细节的细化名词的体现).
  In conclusion, happiness is difficult to define because it is particular to each individual, but I believe that our basic needs for shelter, food and company need to be fulfilLED before we can experience it. (后面一段再次使用细化思维和批判性思维,再次重申主体段观点,不需要写任何在“幸福”的定义基础上的其他延伸的观点)
  总体点评:
  这是篇题目本身非常抽象的题目,经过作者的细化思维的一步步展开,让我们对于“幸福的定义”这一抽象问题有的较为具体的认识,但更重要的是作者将每一个要展开的分论点都进一步的解释和分析是得到高分重要的原因。
  另外面一段(but)以及在倒数第二段开篇写的(although it seems to be impossible ,most people would agree) 这样的批判性思维能极大的提高CC(连贯度)。另外在主体段出现的抽象名词作的主语来代替具体名词以及实意名词的句型,是语言水平高的体现,因为大部分的6分以内作文基本上都是用人称开篇,所以用抽象名词来取代人称开篇的句型是高分作文的特征之一,能充分体现句型的多样性。

发布时间:2021-11-25 17:08  点击:90

所在地:湖北

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